The Weakly(sic) Wank
Winter 2006/2007

The Point
The News
This is the new format of the Weakly(sic) Wank. I want to make my politics and moral standards obvious, so I'm gonna tell it exactly the way I see it. This is not meant as an apology or even an explanation for the "whiny little PC bitches" who I have such disdain for, but to be sure for my own satisfaction that my message is getting through to the people who listen to me. My shows make fun of all the subjects that make some people uncomfortable. Stereotypes are stupid. If you listen to my lyrics, I play on how stupid they sound when you say them. If you like my stuff because you believe you're superior and/or you really hate someone (or everyone) because they're different than you, then you're missing the point and your momma didn't raise you right. I don't want you as a customer or a fan. If you laugh at my stuff because stereotypes DO usually come from somewhere and you feel ok thinking they're funny because you embrace the differences that - like it or not - we all see in each other, then you ARE getting the point.

When family and friends sit around the dinner table or the bar, we make brutally cutting remarks. We don't hold back on anything we think might offend each other. The reason is that we each have our own weaknesses and weirdnesses and we're comfortable laughing at each other and being laughed at in return because we trust the unity we have. We don't like each other all the time, but we love each other all the time. With people we DON'T like or people we fear in some way, we tend to hold back on saying anything offensive. The net effect of this is to make the "outsider" even more of an outsider. We MAKE them different by assuming that they really are different is some basic way.

My humor can be brutal but it's brutal across the board. If you take it out of the context of the whole show, it's pretty derogatory (especially to the groups I'm a member of) but by the end of a show, most folks understand what it's all about. If they don't pay that much attention, fuck'em. Like any performer or even any teacher, I can present the material, but I can't force people to "get" it.

An interesting note about my lyrics is that I've had MANY people get offended by something I've said, but ONLY about a group that they're NOT a part of. I've never had an Iraqi offended by the Man from Iraq song, although it was written for a friend of mine who is actually an Iraqi who owns a convenience store. Likewise, my Lesbian Song. Lesbians NEVER get offended by it. Know why? If you listen to it, you'll see that it's NOT about lesbians. It's about men.

I got interviewed by a woman from Emerson. She made a big deal about the Boston Cab song and how racist it is towards Middle Easterners. I explained that it's about a real experience I had, and that NOWHERE in the song does it mention the race/nationality of the driver. She said that still it was obviously derogatory to minorities in general. I asked her how she knew that the cab driver was a "minority". Her response was "because everyone knows that's the kind of people who have that kind of job." Wanna talk racism? Statements like that are where it really comes out. Words aren't what you need to avoid. Attitudes are what need changing. Being afraid to hear the words is just paranoia and smugness.

All that being said, every week, I'm going to write a bit about some issues that I think are important. You can agree, disagree, get pissed off, answer me back in my guestbook, whatever.

2008 is going to be a great year. I know, I know, we're only coming into 2007 at the moment, and I believe 2007 will be a great year as well but 2008 is going to be a really REALLY great year. Why? C'mon, you know why. It's because George Bush CAN'T be president anymore. No matter what else happens, it CAN'T be him.

So, what about 2007? I thought it was starting off pretty good. Democrats took control of both houses, although that COULD be up for grabs since we only have a 2 seat majority. By the way, by "we" I don't necessarily mean the democrats. I mean the "not republicans". Will Rogers said "I don't belong to any organized political party, I'm a democrat." That still stands true today. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security and relief because the dems are "in control" now. The worst enemy the American public has had in decades is the republican party. The second worst is the democratic party. I'm gonna call the dems "we" from now on, but - although just getting the republicans out of office was a good enough goal before - now we've done it and need to do some good with the (very slight) advantage we've gained. It's a mess out there and it needs to be cleaned up. Fixing the blame isn't the same as fixing the problem. It's Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld etc etc fault, but let's do something better. The war and all the other problems in this country aren't going away just because the good guys are in office now. "WE THE PEOPLE" are still stuck with the rich guys and media manipulators in Washington. "WE THE PEOPLE" (I mean YOU too) can't be complacent. I'm pretty disappointed when I mention political and social shit from stage and ask who knows what I'm talking about, and out of 120 people, 2 or 3 get the reference. I'm pretty disappointed when no one knows who the ambassador to the UN is, but everyone knows who won American Idol and Survivor.

It doesn't take much to stay informed. It's hard to know EVERYTHING that's going on, but it's not hard to know the basics. Make a resolution for 2007 that you're gonna read a newspaper here and there. That you're gonna be able to talk about what's going on in the world and NOT just be able to use the buzzwords. Make a resolution that you're not gonna get ALL of your information from "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" (although I love both of those shows and think you're more likely to get good info from them than from most TV news.) Make a resolution that you're gonna GET my jokes even if you don't think they're funny. Make a resolution that, when people ask what you're reading, you don't say "I don't have time to read anything that's not technical" or "...that's not for work." First of all, it's not true, you could take 10 minutes away from PS3 and Wii or E! Your only weapon against being fucked over because you're not Donald Trump or an oil tycoon is a little knowledge of what's going on. Remember when everyone was screaming about John Kerry hating the troops when he fucked up the joke - if you don't know what I'm talking about, in a nutshell he said if you don't work hard, study hard and get smart, you end up in Iraq. Everyone said that he was saying the troops in Iraq are stupid. HE says that he screwed up a joke (hard to believe huh?) and what he meant was GEORGE BUSH being stupid is what got us into Iraq. In truth, it was both things. Bush being stupid got us there, citizens being stupid made HIM president.

And while I'm at it, make another resolution. Resolve that you're not gonna let your head get filled with this bullshit that you have to agree with whatever your country does to be a patriot. This country was built on just the opposite. WE don't let ourselves get pushed around by a government. Sometimes they're wrong and when they are, if we back them up, then WE are traitors to the ideals that this "greatest of all countries" was built on. When trying to figure out if what we're doing to another country is right or wrong, turn the tables. Remember the golden rule. Would we be ok with someone else doing it to us? If yes, then we're doing the right thing. If no, we're not.

What I'm really trying to say with all of this, is don't just be a receptacle for advertising and marketing whether from the government or industry or TV or anything else. Get off your ass and learn a little something, be more active in what's going on politically and economically or, like the Blessed Virgin said to Francie Brady "for fuck sake Francie, would you ever smarten up a bit".

Happy New Year little buckaroos and buckarettes!

And most importantly of all FUCK Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. They're both retards!!! "How do you like me so far" mb